10 VI 07
i got bitten and headbutted by some deer.
yeah, i know. deer. crazy.
headed to Nara early today and discovered that the very, very nice ryokan at which i'm staying is on the edge of Nara-kouen, a grand park built on reclaimed land. it abuts the Toudaiji temple, which at 2/3 its original size is still the largest wooden building in the world. the catch is that there are apparently 1200 friggin' deer living in this metropolitan park. they are, i swear to god, a National Treasure since they were revered as celestial messengers pre-Buddhism. and no, that's not my typical hyperbole - there are actually 1200 of them according to my book.
these days they're obese, aggressive, and surly, much like a Hypertension Princess at the all-you-can-eat. stands every ten feet sell parcels of deer biscuits for 150Y (about a buck 25) and no one can resist feeding a cute deer.
then you see small children shrieking and on the verge of tears, a herd of agro deer chasing them down the street. oh, i laughed too. seeing people flip out and get mugged by deer is awesome. i couldn't wait to show them how it was done.
these deer are only 3-4 feet tall. they look like overgrown fawns, all tawny with white spots. some of the males have fairly impressive racks of antlers for so smallish a beast. i am bigger than most Japanese. i would be just fine.
so i get the biscuits, assure the lady in Japanese that i understand they are for deer and not for people (classic gaijin mistake), and amble over to a nearby buck who is watching me intently. i produce a biscuit, which he destroys, and then he begins to raise and lower his pronged head in a pronounced fashion. uh oh. i hadn't seen that behavior before.
he's up on a rock so i ignore him and walk away to go feed some does (a deer, a fe-male deer). three of them gather around and start pushing closer and closer for a go at the damned wafers. one steps on my shoe and won't release. they don't want me to go anywhere.
i raise the treats aloft, out of reach. i am magnificent, their domineering god. deer paw my feet. then something hard hits me in the friggin' head and i look back to see that the buck, standing on a different rock, has just bludgeoned me with his antlers. i feel a sharp pinch on my leg - a doe is biting my jeans.
i try not to freak out. there are six deer around me, and they're starting a frenzy. i am fairly well armored - tough pants on, a book in my pocket and the messenger bag over my vitals. i came for war.
i struggle to free my foot and break the circle, vicious deer nipping and scraping at me. i keep the buck in my sight at all times. i dispose of the crackers somehow - bribes, weapons, i can't remember, and scramble out of their radius of torment. they descended again upon some tiny kid. glee turned to horror and the cycle was renewed.
i actually have a couple photos taken during the assault. a nearby sign in Japanese has pictures of chibi kids petting deer and... then angry, angry deer. hmm.
spent the early afternoon at the Toudaiji complex, which houses a colossal Dainichi Buddha. that would be Mahavairocana, the universal Buddah that precedes all worlds, etc etc etc. it is one of the largest bronze sculptures in the world, literally dwarfing King Kong. that was probably wildly offensive to Buddhists. rest assured, i would spare no deity that analogy.
later, after another episode of rain, i sat on a bench by the lake and read on a novel. at one point i had a sudden and acute feeling of danger, or that someone was robbing me, and looked to my right at my bag. another bloody buck had its head halfway in it, scavenging for granola bars. instinctively i shouted "NO! BEAT IT!" and thumped it square between the eyes with my palm. it pulled back and looked at me with an "Are you F'ing kidding me?" expression, and i became concerned that my reflex arc had just bought me trouble. i bounced post-haste.
my room at the ryokan has one glass wall with sliding doors facing a beautiful inner garden. there are two statues of deer tucked halfway behind a bush. the lamps are out now, and by the moonlight i can see their ghostly outlines in my peripheral vision. it has made me jump twice.
so yes, i engineered a two-night jaunt to Nara mostly as a denouement/recuperation after hectic Kyoto. in the last city, i stayed at a dirt-cheap, tiny but comfortable inn called Station Ryokan Seiki - the one with the little dog as a feature. the dog turned out to be a miserable wretch akin to today's deer, but the owner was among the most pleasant human beings i have known. he would chat with me in my appalling Japanese and bring unsolicited iced coffee while i negotiated with the computer in the ten-minute windows before it would overheat. plus, the hotel was about three blocks from Kyoto Station (beyond invaluable), and a block from the superb Daily Yamazaki quick-e-mart where i fiended after peach rolls every morning. American convenience stores have a lot of unfulfilled potential, i've learned.
my ryokan in Nara is a different affair - Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous (remember that?) different. more tomorrow.
