woke up early, ran to the Lawson's for a couple of those weird dorayaki rolls: red bean paste inside a pancake-like contraption. the JRail exchange office didn't open until 1030, so i killed some time watching preposterous Japanese tv. a man in a long-beaked helmet led children in song and dance. other kids wearing costumes that appeared to be adorned with two dozen small breasts danced along with a video of the Hawaiian singer Iz, although he's dead. people tasted different honeys. but the recurring theme, both in news features, interviews, and commercials was the upcoming Pokemon movie (...9?). the films have been released straight to dvd for a while in the States now, but this has the makings of a national event. kids who bring their DS to the theater will wirelessly receive some hardcore ghost Pokemon in the game. now that's integration.
took the bullet train down to Kyoto. it's called the shinkansen, which has to be one of the top two or three Most Fun Words EvAr. it courses at tremendous speed through towns and countryside at something like 200 mph. the best part is when some train-y equivalent of overdrive kicks in and there's a sci fi-sounding hum - the kind that might immediately precede some gross violation of physical law. the train conductor and bento box girl were extremely polite, and habitually turned and bowed to the car upon leaving. it was all quite charming.
i'm staying at a cheap little ryokan, a Japanese style inn, near Kyoto station. one of its features on the web site is "a friendly dog ready to greet you." there is an animated gif. it is a tiny dog, and honestly did not seem too pumped to have guests. dogs love me - i steal them all the time. whatever.
Jun told me to go to Gion. the inn owner told me to go to Gion.
i went to Gion.
it's home to the geisha district, which i will touch on in a bit. on the long, long walk there from the subway, you go along Shichou-dori. it's like a transplant from New York, nothing but upscale shops, restaurants and cafes under an interminable covered path with towering department stores and headquarters screaming neon at all comers. the best part was an ordinary left turn that fed into an entirely different shopping center... a meandering alleyway under a vaulted roof that, like its parent, stretched to infinity.
the first spot i hit, next to "Mr. Young Men", whatever that is, was a toy shop / otaku paradise. a dork like me can very, very easily get into danger in such a land. it was row upon row of video game and anime collectibles... i picked up a Dragon Quest [real] metal slime and some other small stuff. you'd have to see that place to believe it, but photos weren't allowed.
hit a diverse array of stores after that, from quality purveyors of fine Japanese fans and pottery to the HELLO KITTY SHOP to find something for my tech Irene. she is obsessed and would have wigged out after seeing any one of the vast sea of Hello Kitty vendors along this rue (and i find that word particularly appropriate) alone. there were Hello Kitties thinly disguised as melons. in kimonos. under the sea. wrestling crocs. well, maybe not that one.
also found the single greatest example of Engrish i can recall. from a t-shirt:
Sea Breeze
MEETING
I work too much, and the
Japanese who will draw
breath who does not
consider
it appears and does it. 37
Let's sometimes adopt itself to it naturally."
yep. (edit: pic up on facebook)
i finally finished the long haul after dark and made it to Geisha Wonderland. there's no way to do this place justice. i described it earlier as reminiscent of a solemn adult Disneyland attraction - damp, cobbled streets lining obscure and imposing, traditional Japanese facades. lanterns winked softly through wispy tree branches, framed by crimson fence posts and unintelligible and dissuasive signs. at the end of the path, a small Shinto shrine rested in boughs and lantern light. a few businessmen crossed its stone and red wooden gate to make an offering, so i watched from the shadows. they put coins in a box at the purple-velveted heart of the shrine, shook a bell rope twice to get the attention of the shrine's kami, then clapped and prayed.
the places lining this street amount to some of the most exclusive clubs in Japan. being entertained by geisha - who are not prostitutes, incidentally - requires an introduction from an established patron and More Money Than God. only a couple had visible interiors, but they were immaculate traditional Japanese setups with tatami mats, sliding screens, a floor table and other furnishings, all of the highest apparent quality.
i did see a few geisha walking down the street. one stood outside her club while an oldish man in a doctor's coat introduced himself. she sternly studied his meishi (biz card) while he nervously grinned and acted rather silly. the whole district made me feel about as out-of-place as i've ever been... it was an extreme microcosm of the gaijin disconnect that we all feel in Japan. it reminded me of when i was nine years old or so at Disneyland. in the Toon Town area, which is a set of buildings made up to look like cartoons, i got really pumped and started exploring. i opened a door marked "Toons Only." god knows what i expected to see behind it. instead of more raucous, swaying buildings and maniac animals, it was a terrifying, sterile hallway leading to a nurse's office. ugh.
maybe that made sense. i'm always exhausted writing these blogs... wish there were another way.
speaking of senses failing me, as i walked down that geisha street i encountered, going about their business, some of the most beautiful women in the world. i'm not kidding in the least... this was ridiculous. they were dressed well past the nines into the 11s and slunk down the road. i don't know. i don't want to think about it.
dinner was nishin soba, a soba noodle soup with a whole, big friggin' mackerel on top.
they have ravens here. didn't see that one coming.
